Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
