Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
