Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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