reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
