I just saw a hot homeless man
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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