...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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