woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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