drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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