Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
