She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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