Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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