so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
