Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
