when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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