dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
