Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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