i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
