the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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