garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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