i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize