hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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