Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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