6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
