To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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