Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
