My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
