Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
