She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
