So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
