Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
