We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
