Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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