that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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