What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
