C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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