Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
