I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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