That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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