16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
