hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
