YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize