We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
