apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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