I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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