How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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