i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
