I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize