Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The beer is more important than you right now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
