you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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