Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
honey bunches of taint.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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