Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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