so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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