why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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