I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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