i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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