omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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