If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
