my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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