just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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