He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
