he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
smell my finger.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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