what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize