He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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